October 10th, 2007 – I’m editing this because I’ve had 2 women e-mail me literally a week or two after I posted this & I want to make sure everything I wrote is 100% accurate because I won’t be blamed later on for messing up the facts.
Ladies, can you please post your experiences with Bryan on the blog instead of e-mailing me. I mean you can e-mail me, but it takes time out of my schedule to write you back, then I don’t hear from you again & this is not fair to me.
If you had a negative experience about Bryan, please post so others can read what you have to say. You don’t have to use your last name, your first name is fine. Thank you
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I’ll keep this brief (yeh right Michelle LOL)…
I spoke to this guy via e-mail – Bryan James here in Toronto, after finding him on Craig’s List.
Here was his first e-mail to my ad…
“Bryan, 45, attractive, well-established, single white mail. Originally from California, I have been in Toronto for 2 years. I was transferred here because of my work. I work as an executive for a major record label. Want to find out more, you have to write back.”
We never met, but like always, after a couple of e-mails I asked him for his phone number so I could call him & see if I felt we were compatible. I’m not into hiding behind a monitor & e-mailing for 10 years.
I only seek real ethical honest people.
Bryan started being somewhat difficult right off the bat wanting my number first. I told him I don’t do that, I call everyone first. He said he was away for the holidays & he didn’t want me to have to pay long distance. I said don’t worry, I have unlimited long distance.
Now I have spoken to TONS of men online since I started dating online back in 1998, & maybe only 5-6 men were clearly very insecure, or stubborn control freaks who refused to give me their number arguing with me as to why I don’t give them mine. Either that, or they are married or involved or something. Good way to weed out the men ladies.
For anyone who’s not intelligent enough, I’m a woman & I’m trying to be safe here. Thank god 95% of most men get this & are gentlemen about this one issue at least.
Once I talk to the person on the phone & all goes well, then I give them my number. If I don’t feel we hit it off, I politely get off the phone & that’s the end of it. Logical right?
This method has worked for me for the last 9 years.
So back in December 28, 2005 this Bryan does give me his cell number, but starts pressuring me for my number over & over again. I tell him my policy thinking he’d respect that.
I tried calling him 3 times, & instead of getting a VM, I get these 3 peeps which were very weird.
When I e-mail him to tell him this happened, I get…
“Sorry, I guess my cell phone does not work out in Palm Springs, just in LA.
It’s up to you. You will have to send me your phone number or I guess this thing is dead in the water. What are you trying to hide? And no, I don’t think it is either professional or cool for someone to ask for a number without being willing to give one in return,”
Professional? We ain’t doing biz here Bryan, we were socializing online. I don’t have the same policies when I’m conducting business.
Also, umm, my Telus cell works whenever I’m in the States & Palm Springs has no cell towers? LOL
I try to explain myself one more time (I shouldn’t have bothered) & also tell him it’s clear we aren’t compatible.
He starts putting me down, acting like an immature baby blaming me, & that’s all I needed to hear to cut things off.
After criticizing me, he tries to then show off about all the perks he gets working for the same record label Phil Collins is with.
It’s clear he’s trying to lure me in & think he’s this great guy because of his connections. Being the open blunt person I am, I call him on it & this starts a war of words with this guy.
He puts me down many times & if his insults made sense, then maybe, but they didn’t. He either didn’t understand my English or he was just making things up.
This went on from January 1, 2006 – January 23, 2006 when I blocked him – hey, don’t say it LOL, I know you are saying I should have blocked him the first time he put me down & blamed this all on me.
I never hear from him again until August 8, 2007 when a get a brand new e-mail from him.
He starts right off telling me him & I talked on the phone last New Years & we were going to meet, but because of life & being busy, we didn’t.
I thought it strange because I try to always make time for new friends, old friends, etc., but I thought, hmm, maybe he’s right, as I had moved a month earlier.
Still, if things went that well that we were to meet, then why didn’t we?
Yes I’m busy, but not that busy. Relationships mean something to me, & I don’t meet many people, so I generally like to meet new people because I work from home where the only social interaction I get with others is with my online team.
But I believed this Bryan & continued to talk to him (via e-mail), because he seemed nice.
I couldn’t find our previous e-mails which kind of bothered me, but I didn’t think to look in Outlook because I had been with Thunderbird for almost a year now & he stated we talked last Christmas which was less than a year.
So this e-mail back & forth goes on for days & I’m asking him for his phone number & of course I start to get the run around.
Unlike last time when he clearly gave me a phony number, he didn’t want to give me anything this time saying it’s because his work might call him in & he won’t know it’s them calling, blah blah. Oh & he’s a pilot this time by the way.
Ever heard of visual call waiting Bryan?
He keeps asking me for my number & I come this close to almost giving it to him. <see my fingers?> 
Then I start to get suspicious, why would this guy refuse to give me his number this entire time. Days had already gone by.
So I think, why don’t I look to see if I find him in Outlook, & BAMM, there he is.
I skim over the e-mails & start to get really PISSED OFF.
This guy was an immature little baby.
Last time he made the entire thing all about me & how it wasn’t fair I was asking for his number & wouldn’t give him mine, I’m mean, I’m this, I’m that. Yes Bryan, I’m a little meanie. Geeze, does he collect stuffed animals too? He really does put on an initial good show of being mature, stable, etc.
So I give him shit in an e-mail.
Not only that, we NEVER talked on the phone ever! and he said we had.
I realize I’d been had.
Then he changes his story saying he’s scared to give out his number because 2 years ago this past girlfriend of his had gone into his hotmail account & she had scammed him out of a lot of money getting it from his parents. He said she pretended to be him. I asked how his parents could have possibly thought it was him asking for money via an e-mail.
So let me understand the logic here, because I’m a very logical person.
Somehow I’m to be less trustworthy even though I don’t even know this guy from Adam & I’ve done nothing to raise any alarm bells, yet he gets scammed by the woman he does know very well & who’s sleeping in his bed & I think he said he was living with her AND it was 2 years ago.
And so what if I have his number?
How would I suddenly get his hotmail password?
And if he’s that scared, HE SHOULDN’T BE TRYING TO DATE ANYONE!
And get a load of this… he is now telling me the person who wrote to me back in 2005 was this girlfriend which is why she told me he worked for a record label company.
“Don’t know quite how to tell you this but I didn’t write that. It’s not even my style, diction, syntax, etc. This is quite disturbing. Please let me look into this and get back to you. If you have any other e-mails like this, please send them to me. I think I have a slight idea what went on but I would prefer to check it out before I jump to conclusions.
Now I understand where you are coming from. It did not make sense before but it does now. Obviously someone had access to my e-mail and I think I know who.
Will get back to you. Sorry if this upset you. I can totally understand.”
Being the caring person I am, I think maybe he is just this innocent guy who really did have his hotmail account attacked. It wouldn’t be the first time, so I spend the next 3 days trying to get his phone number from him by showing him I’m one of the most trustworthy people he’d ever come into contact with.
After no luck there & a waste of my precious time, I finally tell him I’m not e-mailing him anymore, either we talk on the phone, or I’m gone.
He starts to act like a crying baby, Michelle, why are you doing this, blah blah.
Finally on 08-20-07 I block him because even though I ask him to stop e-mailing me, he won’t.
He still tried to e-mail me another time “I Miss You” why are you doing this. God I hate men who are little boys in a man’s body. GROW THE FUCK UP ALREADY GUYS! I know I’m a strong person, but I’M NOT YOUR MOMMY!
Sorry, I just seem to always draw these weak little boys who jump from relationship to relationship masquerading as men when they need to work on their issues, communication skills, relationship skills & learn how to connect with themselves.
Another female body ISN’T going to solve your problem, YOU have to solve your problems on your own. Stop feeding off of women who are stronger than you are. You are sapping their energy trying to feed off of that.
Sorry again, the last ex was like that & Bryan just pulled that trigger for me.
LOL, so anyway, I haven’t been taken in a while, it’s about time. My dating skills are rusty, I’ve been working too much & not interacting with the human race 
Now is that a good thing, or not so good a thing? LOL
How this guy found me after almost a year had gone by, but ohhh, REMEMBER, it wasn’t last year, it was December of 2005! He even lied about that.
Somehow these guys think I’m not going to catch their lies.
Anyway, watch out for this one. Who stalks someone after 2 years? And to boot, this guy bashes me & then comes back like nothing ever happened.
Serious reality issues here.
Michelle
2 Responses to “Bryan James from Toronto – shybryguy@hotmail.com”
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I’m glad I came across your posting on Bryan James when I did. He had responded to my craigslist posting around mid-September 2007, and meanwhile, he had apparently been emailing you until you finally blocked him in August of 2007.
On craigslist, I had had my photo and profile up, but from the beginning Bryan never sent me his photo, saying he was busy and didn’t have anything scanned, etc. I should have just let it go at that point.
But I had somehow given him the benefit of the doubt, as in his emails to me and over the phone (I had given him my number after an exchange of emails; his number was always blocked, actually), he was being “romantic” and “sensitive” and seemed intelligent, but what was so odd, among other things, was that he needed reassurance that I was already in love with him before he would try to meet me! He said he was afraid of meeting me and getting rejected, so he would postpone meeting with me. Then one weekend, he said he had to go to a game with some guys on a Friday, then when I pursued the point, he said part of the reason was that he was afraid of getting rejected, and then later revised his story and told me that part of the reason why he couldn’t meet or call that weekend was because his parents were in town. Other things in the way he communicated had struck me as off base and fishy, and that’s around the time I decided to do a bit of due diligence, and came upon your posting. When I read your posting, I saw parallels in his behaviour and what I’d observed.
Bryan James has obviously been misrepresenting himself. He had responded to my ad on craigslist, and told me that he was a senior account executive at a major record label (never a pilot), and that he’d been in Toronto for two years.
At one point, I had asked if he was emailing anyone else, and he laughed it off, then acted as if offended by the question and said this was not a game, and that I was talking to someone who was saying he was ready to marry me (!). Meanwhile, he had been harassing you up until fairly recently.
When I confronted him about the information I saw on your site (he was asking me for the link, which I did not give him), he feigned complete ignorance and said he didn’t know what I was talking about, saying, “Do you believe everything you read on the Internet?” Then he had the nerve to “suddenly” pretend he couldn’t hear me each time I repeatedly asked him what this was all about, and said my phone wasn’t working. (!!) I basically told him never to email or call me again .. and blocked his email, and blocked calls on one of my lines. But I have been still been getting many calls from him on my other line (which I’ve ignored), where he blocks his number (I still have to get a block put in place on that one — today!).
Thank you Michelle, I’m glad I saw your posting … Anyway, I hope this information helps someone else avoid all this trouble.
K.
WOW. Wow! I cannot believe this scumbag!!
Lets take a walk back to roughly the Spring of 2007. “Bryan James” (is that even his real name??) found me on a website (was NOT Craigslist – haha) and told me with his first message to me that he’s 35, single, lives alone in a “big” house in downtown Toronto, works for a major record label, he thought we had a lot in common, and would I be interested in chatting with him.
Well, sure, why not, I thought. He seemed nice enough. Well-spoken and seemed intelligent, which I thought was a nice change.
Anyway, we exchange a few emails and I give him my phone number. Yes, yes I know what you’re thinking. But mind you, I have a private line which is unlisted, so I don’t mind if weirdos have that number…haha. So over the next several months we talk constantly…he even called me at work all the time. Yes, I stupidly told him where I work, so it was easy enough for him to find out my work phone number. (I swear you guys, I’m too trusting…to a fault, it seems!)
Long story short, he basically “fell in love” with me and told me such. Told me how he wants to marry me, how he wants me to have his children, how he can “save” me financially…blah, blah, blah.
And no, he never once showed me a picture of himself, never gave me his phone number…NOTHING. But I thought it wasn’t too unreasonable since he supposedly works for a major record company.
So we continue talking for a good 6-8 months at least. He keeps insisting that we meet, but I’m hesitant since he refuses to show me what he looks like, claiming he doesn’t own or have access to a camera…WTF? Yeah, okay there, bud. Anyway, I keep telling him that I don’t meet people from the internet in person without first seeing what they look like. But does he show me ANYTHING? Of course not.
So we never meet…
Okay, so fastforward to Winter, 2009. He contacts me out of the blue after not talking to me whatsoever for OVER A YEAR! Claims he’s still in love with me all these months and how he even comes into my place of business to see me when he’s feeling lonely…WHAT THE HELL??
Sad thing is, you guys, before I read your posts here…I sincerely thought he might have mad a great boyfriend. He seems so honest and caring.
Wow…
I’m awaiting another phone call from him so I can tell him off.
I’ll keep you guys updated if anything new happens.
-J.
P.S. I just wanted to mention something which I found to be amusing: Way back when we first began talking, he told me all about how he used to have model girlfriends…and basically implied that I should feel honored to have had captured his interest…
Am I allowed to swear? Because this jerk has pissed me off for the last time.
“Bryan James”, you are SCUM!!
Do NOT fall for this idiot, girls. *sigh*